Growing, Not Dying

Remembering 9/11

2008-09-09T23:46:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was in a business transaction and the guy wrote the date down incorrectly as the 10th. I simply said, "It's the 11th." He commented he'd been getting it wrong all day. I was a little surprised. It has been 7 years, but I still thought it should ring a bell. Even the small pub out in the countryside I visited in Ireland had a plaque about it.

It did get me thinking though. The popular phrase is "Never forget." Yes, I do think we should remember and honor those who served and gave or lost their lives that day, but it does, or should, raise the question of what is the best way to honor those people.

Is this "war" really the best way? I am in no way opposed to protecting our borders or to the wonderful selfless people who serve in our military. But is there still such a threat that we need to have babies born with daddies thousands of miles away? Children growing up with one of their parents away for months at a time? Do these men and women need to be going on drills and watching movies instead of going to their kids activities and watching them grow?

Was it needed for us to go in the first place? I have no idea. I do know after 7 years the message should be delivered we went to give. After I have punished and lectured my kid, I don't keep on it for weeks on end. It gets old for both of us and stops serving any useful purpose. It looses meaning.

If I had died in that tower, or lost a loved one I would not want my memorial to be more families suffering division and loss. I would want it to be families being strengthened. Daddies playing ball in the yard cherishing the time they have with their kids, estranged friends or loved ones calling each other just to check in, not just for a few days or weeks, but as a change in lifestyle.

Couldn't we have a pro-connection campaign instead of a terrorism campaign? Instead of "homeland security" tightening, what if we, as a country, tried a "home security" policy where we tried to make our own children feel loved and secure in their own family? What if instead of pouring more money into tools of war and training more soldiers we spent just 1% of that on community parenting classes or free family day at area zoos and museums across the nation? There are many great organization working to help single parents, broken homes, low-income, high-risk, African-American males, single mothers, inner-city kids, teen abstinence and self-esteem most of which are way underfunded, under publicized and overworked. Could we start by giving them a hand?

This has gotten a little more "soap boxish" than I had intended to. I simply would like to put forth some questions and ideas. Maybe adding my one little voice to those out there will help create more positive ideas that will result in more peaceful constructive solutions. We all want what is best for our families, our country and our world. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate what that "best" looks like.

Devotion

2008-08-26T01:06:00.004-06:00

Recently a word caught my attention, one I had never really considered previously.

Devotion.

Many of us have preconceived ideas around words. Different emotions arise, images, experiences. For the purpose of clearer communication, let us start off with a common understanding.

de·vo·tion

1.profound dedication; consecration.
2. earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.
3. an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause, etc.: the devotion of one's wealth and time to scientific advancement.

Devotion speaks of commitment, but more than a mere loyalty. It is a tie, a binding. It implies deep feelings. When those feelings are affection, admiration, and a sincere desire to see the other person succeed in a relationship you have the base ingredients for a more than stellar relationship.

Now I'm not talking about that song from Grease where she's "Hopelessly Devoted," or some misplaced attachment stalker thing. Let's be clear. For those 'out of this world', 50+ years and still look like newly wed kind of relationships both people have to be devoted. You see commitment stays because it has to. Devotion stays because it can't imagine any other way of life! Joy and happiness are here now. Devotion wants to be here. Loyalty and honor are great, but devotion implies hope. It knows there is more. More what? Joy? Happiness? Love? All of the above!

When one person is devoted, you have hope. When both are devoted, you have heaven on Earth. Why? Because devotion is willing to work, to progress, even change. Devotion is often used in religious or spiritual context. Religion is suppose to be about spiritual change, becoming, drawing nearer to- whether that be nearer God, or Source, or just 'the other side' it is about moving. That is what marriage was designed to be. The progress of two people working together, encouraging each other to become better people drawing nearer to each other and nearer to a higher purpose.

It has recently become clearer to me that this is what our society has been lacking. Devotion to one another. Our divorce rate is epidemic. Children are left questioning and insecure. Hearts are broken, hope wanes and good people walk away feeling like failures because they didn't even know what was missing. They had love, but somewhere it just kind of died out. There was no true devotion

Devotion stands firm in the ebb and flow of infatuation, hard times, passion, fun, luck, play, work, and just plain life. It does not give up, on the other person, the possibilities, or hope. When one is devoted they are willing to seek change, not in compromising who they are or their values, but in enriching the relationship. If that means seeking help or education, encouraging a new hobby in their spouse, finding things to do together, becoming creative. Whatever it is, devotion tries it.

If who you believed to be God appeared to you in a way you found absolutely undeniable, told you everything you ever wanted was possible and asked you to preform a task for Him(her/it/whatever,) wouldn't you do whatever was needed to complete that task? What if it involved knowledge you did not have? Skills you didn't know? What if you plain didn't know how to begin? Would you ask someone who may have the knowledge you need? Perhaps someone whose done it? Let's pretend no one has ever done whatever this thing is before, like Noah building the huge old ark and sticking hundreds of animals on it. Could you begin? Could you take a first step? Could you do one small thing today to at least begin to walk that path?

What can you do today to make your relationship a little bit better than yesterday?

Devotion. Think about it.

Adorable!

2008-08-26T01:01:00.002-06:00

My dimpled darling of 4 was standing by sniffling. "Honey, I think you have a drippy nose today," I commented.

"Yes, and I also have the 'bless yous'," referring to her sneezing.

Fun

2008-08-11T15:11:00.002-06:00

Do you know what sounds fun today? A sleep over!

I'm serious, like when I was kid. To have a bunch of friends over and listen to music, play games and just chat. There would be a buffet of finger foods, like pizza pockets, fruit, veggies and dip, cheese, meat, crackers and more. Eventually it would be movie time. We'd clear the floor and roll out sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, all things soft and fluffy for snuggling up and getting cozy. All the lights go off and the movie starts. Someone may or might not fall asleep as it plays. There might be a second movie, or we might just stay up whispering about stuff- serious stuff, the meaning of life, goals dreams or maybe silly stuff with lots of giggling. :-)

Sounds like a good time to me!

Track and Facebook

2008-08-11T11:11:00.002-06:00

Today at the track I did something amazing, well amazing for me. I ran over half a lap. For me that was a huge step, but that's not the best part. You see, immediately my brain went "oh man. I still can't do even one lap. My throat is on fire and I feel like I'm gonna collapse and I didn't even make it a quarter mile!" But I noticed! I stopped and went, "Hey! That is the farthest I have run in one stretch yet! Considering I have done regular work outs in 3 weeks that is even more amazing! It's progress! What's even more, I am gonna' keep going. That's right we gonna keep walking round this here track and we're even gonna' run some more." And I did! Yeah me!

On another note, a friend of mine had asked if I was on facebook. I'm not. Out of curiosity I thought I would go see my friend's page and see if I am interested at all. Turns out you can't view someone's page if you aren't a member, but you can search and see how many people have that name. One friend had over 40 and another had 30. I thought they were fairly unique names. Apparently not. So I searched for my name. "No matches found." YES!

I am UNIQUE! I am DIVINE!!!!

Yeah me!!!

update

2008-08-11T00:55:00.002-06:00

Hello. I've gotten phone calls and e-mails asking why I'm not blogging. Actually, I write in my head a lot. Just by the time I can sit down I've forgotten it all. So this is just a general update.

For the Fourth of July we rode a boat out onto Lake Washington, going out very near Gas Works, to watch the most amazing fireworks display I have ever seen! Hearts, stars, smiley faces, flowers, "USA," brilliant colors and patterns. It was AMAZING! and lasted like 45 minutes. Absolutely the coolest, especially if you happen to be like me and LOVE fireworks already. It was the best.

Summer chugged along. My oldest, who now prefers to be "X-Man"- (no relation to the mutant comics/movies,) went to a Scout day camp. He loved it got a lot of work done towards his Webelos requirements. By a stroke of luck he was able to go to a second camp with his brother a couple weeks later, thus earning even more. T is working on his Wolf rank. Jim went along that time and helped with X-Man's group.

The week of the that second camp was a busy one around here. My Mom was kind enough to come up from Idaho to stay with the kids, cleaning and cooking and what not. She had all 4 while Jim worked then the girls in the late afternoon/evening while the boys all went to camp.

Where was I? In Canada doing another self-development/introspective camp. I learned much. We hiked, did arts & crafts, sang, connected with nature....the usual campy stuff. It was good. I've been home 2 weeks as of today, yet I am not sure I have totally reintegrated yet.There is so much to learn and to, more importantly, figure out how that changes who I am being in day to day being.

Little Sunshine turns 4 tomorrow. I can't believe "my baby" is so big. In truth I don't see her as 'a baby,' but rather as just my youngest. Still, it's so odd moving into a new stage of life. We are done with diapers and potty training, sippy cups and toddler size utensils. No more tricycle, she's onto a bike with training wheels. Her sister, the Princess, starts Kindergarten this year and is learning to ride without training wheels altogether. The boys are getting bigger too. Time is just racing by, yet I still have to remind myself to take time to hold them and cherish moments now. Shouldn't that be a natural automatic thing? To want to hold onto these moments? Yet, I get so caught up in changing sheets, scrubbing tubs, loading the dishwasher, and so forth that I am often glad to send them out to play rather than have them underfoot!

*sigh*

Such is life right now. The trick it to remember to embrace it as you go....and try not to embarrass your son too much by dancing in front of his friends.

Part Squirrel

2008-07-02T10:12:00.002-06:00

This morning over breakfast my oldest, J-Man at 10, proposed a new theory: All girls are part squirrel.

I could live with that.

Coach

2008-06-26T20:19:00.002-06:00

The combination of nice weather and kids home have served to moved my exercise routine down to the local middle school track. My partner and I don't always match pace and since I don't like walking alone much I often call one of the kids to do a lap with me. T, at 7, has proven to be an insightful coach.

He jogs along side me trying to get me to speed up. "Come on, Mom. You got to go faster if you want to get to your top level. Too many people think they are happy being at a low level but for you it's top 'cause you want to be your best, not all lazy and stuff."

We mark our laps in the dirt each time we pass the stairs leading to the basketball court. I told him my goal was to get to 8 laps. He said 10. Yesterday I did 6. Today 7. He shook his head in disappointment. He looked at me. "That's okay. You did your best. You can do 8 tomorrow, then 10 next time. Then you can start going faster."

Sure thing, Coach.

Music?

2008-06-25T09:31:00.002-06:00

All the children are noisier than usual. "The natives are restless" as they say. This morning they have started earlier than usual. At 8 am my little 3 yr old princess was tooting away on her pretend trumpet, an empty paper towel roll.

I asked her to 'please, keep it down.'

Ever so innocently she responded, "I need to get the horny out."

Name Calling

2008-06-24T01:36:00.002-06:00

Sitting out in the shade of the dusty pseudo-ranch I was bragging to Cousin Amy about how well behaved my boys were. (After all, isn't that part of what Family Reunions are for?) To prove my point I called my 7 year old over, who happen to be walking by. I asked him to please take my paper dishes and put them in the trash. When he returned I thanked him and asked him to take Cousin Amy's too. He graciously complied.

While he was in transit with her dishes she asked how I managed to teach them so well. "Not me. They get it all from their dad and the example he sets."

Returning, my son then took his dad's plate and asked if he would like more of anything. Cousin Amy was overwhelmed. (I was secretly pleased because although they are great kids, children have a funny way of behaving the exact opposite when you are trying to show them off.) Jim told our son no thank you, just to throw it away.

Now everyone's dishes were cleared so I half expected the boy to run off and play. I began telling Amy how Jim teaches the kids to call me "Queen Mom" at home sometimes. Just that moment our son returned and asked, "Is there anything else?" (What a thoughtful kid!)

Relishing in the glow of the moment Jim asked, "T, what do I tell you to call mom?"

Confusion on his face he answered with some trepidation, "Mom?"

I knew the question was awfully vague and out-of-nowhere for the poor kid to simply guess at the right answer so I searched for a way to help prompt him without supplying the answer. "Daddy means at home. What does he tell you guys to call me at home?"

I was going to add something like, "On Mother's Day he tells you to call me something special," but didn't get it out. My son's face suddenly lit up with that schoolboy I-know-this-answer pride. With confidence and exuberance he stated loudly, "Sexy!"

Needless to say, everyone laughed and I was done showing off.

Good Quotes

2008-06-03T11:41:00.000-06:00

"Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight and it will crush; hold it too loose and it will fly away."

"Women are to be loved, not to be understood." Chinese Proverb

"In women everything is heart, even the head" J.R. Richter

Nurturing Children VS Fast Food Discipline

2008-05-12T08:13:00.001-06:00

Previously I had written about my newly discovered idea of "nurturing" children, and the changes in my parenting. Real change only comes when we change the way we see and interpret the world so I have continued to explore new ideas and new view points to encourage more lasting change.

Thus, today I found myself again meditating on the idea of what it means to "nurture" a child. The only other area where we talk of "nurturing" that came to mind was in our food. We talk of nutritious food and it's effects on our bodies. We know if we want to have strong healthy bodies we must eat a diet rich in good wholesome foods. These include whole grains, natural plants such as fruits and veggies- particularly leafy green veggies, and avoid processed, chemically altered, hormone treated alternatives. I'm not a Vegan, or even vegetarian, but I can see the advantages to choosing your foods with wisdom. Only through good foods over the long run can a body grow to it's strongest healthiest potential.

This does not mean one can never have a burger or pizza, but for optimum health these things must be eaten judiciously. A diet of constant fast food and junk foods makes us tired, fat, and unhealthy. (Trust me on that instead of experimenting on yourself.)

Today it occurred to me like a light going on, punishment is like fast food. Once in a while it won't hurt. In fact, it can be a great help in certain situations when used wisely. However, a diet rich in fast food, or worse- only fast food, will produce poor health with a lack of energy and vitality. Likewise a child raised on a rich diet of constant punishments rather than consistent patient loving example will grow up internally weak, unsure of himself and lacking self-discipline.

Unlike some, I do not overwhelmingly enjoy cooking regular daily meals. Ordering in or going out is so much easier. I have found though, it quickly becomes distasteful and I long for a wholesome meal. I think many of our children are longing for more nutritious upbringings. It is my new belief a steady diet of boundaries, appropriate expectations, praise for performance, good examples and a heaping of patient love will produce far better people in the long run then daily punishment. Sure it is easier just to correct the situation quickly ending the immediate problem, but pizza every night does not produce quality health.

So, I guess it is time for me to put on an apron, learn some new "recipes," and experiment with new "foods." Some will not be very appetizing, some will be good, and eventually some will be fantastic. . . .

.... and once in a while I'm sure we'll order pizza. After all, change is a process.

Be Careful with Glue

2008-05-07T15:24:00.001-06:00

it's sticky.

Death- my thoughts

2008-05-06T11:15:00.002-06:00

Last night we had a family lesson on Death.

We shared our beliefs with our children. We believe we were spirits before birth, children of a Heavenly Father. Then our spirits came to Earth and entered our bodies, like a hand slipping into a glove. The hand is what lets the glove move around. Even though you can't see the hand, it is in the glove. When the hand leaves the glove, it can't move around anymore. The hand is still okay, even without the glove.

We do believe in an afterlife, no reincarnation, so we had to explain how we then put the glove away cause we are done with it. We do believe in resurrection, that we will live again someday.

Last month my sister gave birth to a little girl, Stori. As I am sure you can guess she did not live long. This last week-end Jim's Grandmother passed away. We decided to have the lesson to help the children more clearly understand that these people were not going to "get better." They know I lost a brother before they were born, but still don't have the whole picture clear.

Time means so little for children. My children really only grasp "now," "soon" (meaning in a few minutes,) "later" (meaning today, but not 'soon,') and "a long time." The boys understand "tomorrow" and possibly as far as a few days. Beyond that it is conceptual. They know how to read calendars but it doesn't really mean anything. So telling them that we will see these people again "someday" might be as soon as next week for the girls, and "when we're grown up" for the boys.

For me, it seems I have reached adulthood. Days and weeks are just flying by. Time seems to be moving faster and faster. It seems just a few days ago I was bringing JJ home from the hospital. Now he's 10 and there are 4 children here. Part of me feels like, 'how'd they get here so fast?' Yet I know it will only be a blink and they will be moved out.

Too quickly it is already tomorrow and "later" comes faster. Then 'soon' is 'now' and suddenly....

...it will be gone.

Best to fill it all up with happy times and good livin'. Making memories and good experiences.

Poem of Change

2008-04-20T21:47:00.000-06:00

Old Mother Hubbard
The cat's in the cupboard
the dog should not eat a bone

some times it is best
to sit quiet and rest
out all on your own

Wine me and dine me
tell me "be mine" me
but my will is still my own

Old Mother Hubbard
the cat's in the cupboard
the dog should not eat the bone

Though knowledge you learn
and lessons you earn
some come not on loan

Planted seeds be
and grow like a tree
cause wisdom must be your own.

Move Mother Hubbard
get cat out of cupboard
Say Good-bye to the bone

copyright Dawn McKeeth 2008

Simple, but not easy, Instructions for Life

2008-04-16T00:54:00.002-06:00

Think less
Feel more

Talk less
Hear more

Speak Truth
In all ways

Be true to you
Honor all

Express gratitude
Seek wisdom

Give Freely
Find Light

Love all
Have Life

Do this
Know Joy

copyright Dawn McKeeth 2008

Parenting Style Changes

2008-04-07T13:01:00.002-06:00

It is interesting how we grow and change. Perhaps the hardest stuff to change are the unconscious programs we run. Even when we do finally figure out that something needs to change, until we have something to change the way we see things, it can still be an impossible task. I catch myself yelling at a child, while the voice in my head is reminding me this is not how I want to handle the situation. Yet, I don't know what to do instead and the behavior has to stop!

This is where my parenting has been for about a year now. I knew it was not the best way. I went for getting the results I wanted right now, usually through intimidation and punishment. Yesterday I heard a wonderful woman speaking about a parent's role, especially mothers, to 'nurture' their children. For some reason that word caught my attention as it hadn't before. The word brought a new picture to consider.

Then I happened upon a parenting show. One woman and her husband had very different styles, he was more the traditional firm type, like I have been. They spoke about learning a new way and how changing over was a process, not an instant thing. I have often thought I needed to be different now! Permission to take time, to practice, seemed uncomprehensible. A Dr. spoke on how we teach our children to read in steps, learning the letters, their sounds, that they can be put together, then how. Yet we expect them to learn social behaviors instantly. We do not hand a child a book and say 'read.' How can social skills be different?

Then today I came across a wonderful post on the current epidemic we seem to suffering , a lack of common sense! I was reading about these teenagers trying to build a fire with full size logs and gasoline, totally wondering what happened to "common sense." Toward the end of the article the author was talking about our need today for instant results. We loose the process trying to get what we want NOW, regardless of the sacrifices made on the way.

Suddenly, everything from the week-end came together. I could see how how I have been raising my children looking for instant results, rather than understanding it is a process. Each fire is different, depending on the weather, wood, location, etc. Still, there are some fundamentals that remain the same. I am a unique parent and each of my children is unique, but there are still basic principals that can be applied. Obviously, time. Apparently there is a reason kids take so long to grow up, and it is suppose to be an advantage to me! So, these ideas of nurturing through praising the positive, teaching slowly exactly the behavior expected, possibly multiple times, praising again, and again, for desired behavior so both of us can practice...the idea of it being a process rather than"I told and showed you what to do so now you should be able to do it!" The idea of nurture versus punish. These are all in my head, planted like seeds. Now we shall see what grows from it.

Desire- Reaching your Dream

2008-03-21T13:09:00.000-06:00

How do we figure out what to do with our life? By following our desires. I'm not talking about lust, like for another person. I'm talking about passion, something you love doing, something that brings you happiness, something you dream about.

What if you dream about being an astronaut? Well, let's look at that. The most proven method is to start by joining the military. So you join up. There you discover you don't really like that kind of rigid lifestyle, but you have a natural talent for leadership that is groomed and utilized while you are in. Since you don't want to stay military you give up your dream of going to space and leave the service.

Drifting a bit you get a job in management at a corporation. While there you work your way up for a few years learning a lot about corporate structure and business life. You find yourself becoming restless and dissatisfied. One day you get a great idea for a better product. Life has prepared you perfectly, without you knowing. You leave your corporate job, start a new company and soon the lives of millions are a little bit better because you are the CEO of a multi-million dollar international company, a company that never would have come into being if you hadn't followed your desire to be an astronaut.

The root meaning of the word "desire" is "from God." By trusting Him and having faith He can guide our steps, but only if we follow. The Universe will arrange itself to support you. Since there are no billboards in the sky, how do we know what to do? By following those nudges, urges and ideas incubating inside. Sometimes that dream or desire is the goal. Sometimes following that idea just gets you on the right path to start.

When you take a road trip most of the time it is not a straight shot. For me to get from Seattle, WA to Boise, ID I hop on the I-5 then switch to I-90. After a few hundred miles it's onto the I-82. Finally onto I-84 into Boise.

Sometimes life is like that. We follow one path for awhile. Take a little break or become restless. Switch paths. Eventually, if we are lucky and paying attention, we arrive and are doing our dream.

First we have to get started. If I just drove around Boise forever I'd never get to Seattle. First I have decide I want to go somewhere. I can always correct my course if I get lost on the way, but if I never start driving I'll never get anywhere different.

If I'm going someplace really far I may have to get on a plane or a boat. I may even have to transfer between planes. Going to Ireland I had to go on 3 different planes to get there.

So, first step, identify your biggest passion or desire then take a step in that direction. What is something you can do? Can you study a new subject? Talk to someone in that field? Move? Write? Take a class?

If you knew the perfect step to take, what would it be? What can you today to start?

Worms

2008-03-16T15:12:00.000-06:00

The soil was hard. It was clay really. A horrid place to try and grow a yard, let alone a garden. This is the kind of soil that requires a team of workers to make it usable. Experts have to be brought in to work night and day to break it up and mix in the needed nutrients. The kind of know how ingrained from a life of doing. This ground needed the best. It needed worms.

Thus it was. So on rainy afternoons my children and I would grab the bucket and go on a "Worm Walk." Worms were out in droves, especially on the block behind our property. Following the sidewalk we would gather worms out of the road, gutter and off the sidewalk. We looked for the big ones, thick and squirmy. 5-6 inches was a real prize. If it was in someone's yard or close to, it was off limits. We'd just push it into their lawn. However, if it was in the road, then we were really rescuing it before the sun could come out and dry them up. Although nearly all these hundreds of worms would disappear before the puddles, a few would inevitably get stuck out in the road and dry up if they weren't rescued.

We'd gather around 30 worms, sometimes more, sometimes less. They might get dumped into the front lawn, or maybe even the back. Most often though, they would get put into the garden. Each fall we mulched the garden. Each spring that mulch got turned into the soil. But by far the most important thing we did was add the worms.

This last fall we moved from our rock and clay yard to an apartment in the wet Pacific Northwest. We have often walked in the rain over the past few months but it wasn't until last week I realized what was missing. Worms! I saw no worms. How very odd.

Then only a couple days ago they came out. They were small and spindly, hardly worth noticing. Shorter than my pinkie! Touching them hardly made them wriggle. Tons of them couldn't even make it off the sidewalk before the sun came out. If they had made it out as far as the gutter it seemed they were goners. I couldn't help but think there wasn't a one we saw that would make decent fishing bait.

What in the world could cause such a difference, I wondered. The ground before was hard and nutritiously poor. The ground here is soft, so soft it squishes after a rain. Everything is so green. The soil must be rich. It must be like a worm Utopia compared to to the former ground. So how is it these new worms are so weak and puny were as the worms I knew were robust and lively? Could it possibly be that the work required to survive in the hard soil is exactly what made better worms, not the nutrients I imagine must be in the new soil? That living the life of ease was actually holding back these more inferior cousins? Is it the same for people? Might it be we need opposition and challenges in order to grow bigger and more robust? That living an easier life actually makes us weaker specimens?

Though I am not sure, for now I shall be grateful for the oppositions I have faced thus far, hoping they have made me to be of the strong fighter variety instead of leaving me weak and puny. If I find myself far from where I am safe, I want to be tough enough to make it back to friendlier ground!

Game of Life

2008-03-16T14:36:00.003-06:00

As I stood in the kitchen listening to 3 year old Sarah cry, whine and grump her older sister Emily who is 5, came in.

Excitedly she declared, "Sarah, let's play that one game where you laugh and giggle!"

Sarah broke out in a huge grin and ran off giggling with her sister.

What would happen if we all approached each other in life that way? We're all just playing a game anyway. What if instead of playing "to win," or playing to try and "get ahead" we played just to make each other happy? I am not saying I have the answer, or that the world would be paradise overnight.

Still, I can't help but wonder, how would my life be different if I played the game "to make you laugh and giggle?"

How would yours be different?

Life Simplified

2008-02-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

My 3 year old proudly sang to me today:

"A B C D E F Q Next time won't you sing with me?" Smiling proudly she announced, "That's my ABC song."

I couldn't help but think we grown ups sure make things complicated don't we?

Are you different?

2008-01-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those moment where you simply recognize that you are "different?" It may not be in a bad way, or a good way for that matter. Something happens and you just have a moment of insight that you are not the same as the stereo-type or the norm.

Today I had another of those moments.

I was walking to the clubhouse to go workout. I take my girls with me. My friend brings her daughters. We put all the girls in the the gym to play while we work out on the equipment on the other side of the half wall, hoping for few interruptions.

As we walked over this morning, I was carrying "The Bag." Why was this time any different than any other? What brought about a singular moment of insight? Today was the first time I referred to as more than "The Bag." As we walked in my head it became "The Gym Bag."

This caught the attention of my mental faculties.

A 'gym bag' is like a long rectangle or cylinder shape with things like a towel and smelly socks in it, isn't it? I carried a large plastic 'Barnes & Noble' plastic shopping bag. Inside are coloring books, stuffed animals, balls of all different sizes and plastic ponies. Surely this is not a 'gym bag.' But we go to the gym with it, every week day for a couple months now! That must make it okay to call it a 'gym bag.'

Again, I am different.

Oh well. I am.

Why is it....?

2008-01-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

Why is it when we are feeling bad about ourselves, we feel drawn to do something to make ourselves feel worse? Like watch tv or eat junk food or any number of other activities that leave us feeling even worse?

Why is it when you feel nervous that you might say something stupid, you end up saying something that you wish you hadn't, causing you to become more nervous so you say something else wrong and eventually turn in to a babbling idiot with a voice in your head screaming at you to shut up!

Why is it that seems thing to spiral and spiral, snowball as it were? If you trip a little pretty soon you are rolling down the hill. Why does it seem so difficult to apply the same principal in reverse? Why can't one wise remark lead to another? One small good choice lead to a mountain of them?

Why does one question invariably lead to another?

Praying for the Future

2008-01-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

Recently I have begun occasionally praying for my future children-in-law and the parents raising them. We can all use extra help in this world, but I think these shall have to be some extrodinary people as they will face interesting challenges- my children.

The other day we were driving when my 7 year old son asked me, "Mom what should I call my business?"

After pausing to check in my brain for any notes about my son having a new hobby... and finding none I asked, " What business?"

"The one I am going to have," he say frustrated with my obvious lack of scruples.

"Oh. Well that depends. What does your business do?"

"I'm a scientist," as if that settles everything.

" What kind of scientist?"

"A SCIENTIST," he exclaims exasperated. I hear the implied 'Geesh, Mom, are you not paying attention?!?!"

Calmly I return, "Well there are a lot of different kinds of scientist. Some study plants or chemicals or build things. Do you know what you want to do? How will your business help people?"

Confidently, "Right now people only use 1 out of 10 parts of their brain so I am going to discover how they can use more. Then I have to let my old teacher know cause I told her I would so she could be smarter too."

"That's call 'neurology', " my 9 yr old pipes in, trying to be helpful. "That has to do with your brains."

"That's right. Neurological has to do with the brain. Perhaps you could call it T.J.'s Neurological Research Center."

"Excuse me, Mom," my very soon to be 5 year old I-love-everything-girly-pink-and-fashion daughter interrupts.

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"I just want to be a Princess when I grow up."

"Oh?"

"And my husband will love me 'cause him will be a prince too."

My mind again repeats this plea, "Father, please help the poor boy who has to live up to this girl's expectations! "

From the back comes, "How many employees should I have?"

We discuss different positions a company might have from the receptionist to the janitor and "the person who handles the money."

"I think they are generally called CFOs in big companies now. Chief Financial Officer," I muse.

My silent prayer continues, "Not to mention the young woman who will be waiting at home for her scientist husband trying to make people smarter. Help their parents prepare them. And help me too."

I smile and shake my head as we all load out of the van, grateful to have another very interesting conversation over with.

"One Man" Making a Difference

2008-01-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

Read on a bumper sticker: "One man can make a difference. JESUS DID."

Now, I am a Christian. Still, I couldn't help but think, "so did Martin Luther King Jr., and Gandhi, Buddha, Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc, Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin, Harriet Tubman, and the list could keep going.

Then of course there is Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, and more recently Mengistu Haile Mariam. They, and those like them, also made a vast impression on the world.

The truth is, everyone who enters this world makes a difference. Every person affects those around them which creates a domino effect through time and over great distances.

The question is not whether you will make a difference, but rather what kind of difference are you going to make?