Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Nurturing Children VS Fast Food Discipline

Previously I had written about my newly discovered idea of "nurturing" children, and the changes in my parenting. Real change only comes when we change the way we see and interpret the world so I have continued to explore new ideas and new view points to encourage more lasting change.

Thus, today I found myself again meditating on the idea of what it means to "nurture" a child. The only other area where we talk of "nurturing" that came to mind was in our food. We talk of nutritious food and it's effects on our bodies. We know if we want to have strong healthy bodies we must eat a diet rich in good wholesome foods. These include whole grains, natural plants such as fruits and veggies- particularly leafy green veggies, and avoid processed, chemically altered, hormone treated alternatives. I'm not a Vegan, or even vegetarian, but I can see the advantages to choosing your foods with wisdom. Only through good foods over the long run can a body grow to it's strongest healthiest potential.

This does not mean one can never have a burger or pizza, but for optimum health these things must be eaten judiciously. A diet of constant fast food and junk foods makes us tired, fat, and unhealthy. (Trust me on that instead of experimenting on yourself.)

Today it occurred to me like a light going on, punishment is like fast food. Once in a while it won't hurt. In fact, it can be a great help in certain situations when used wisely. However, a diet rich in fast food, or worse- only fast food, will produce poor health with a lack of energy and vitality. Likewise a child raised on a rich diet of constant punishments rather than consistent patient loving example will grow up internally weak, unsure of himself and lacking self-discipline.

Unlike some, I do not overwhelmingly enjoy cooking regular daily meals. Ordering in or going out is so much easier. I have found though, it quickly becomes distasteful and I long for a wholesome meal. I think many of our children are longing for more nutritious upbringings. It is my new belief a steady diet of boundaries, appropriate expectations, praise for performance, good examples and a heaping of patient love will produce far better people in the long run then daily punishment. Sure it is easier just to correct the situation quickly ending the immediate problem, but pizza every night does not produce quality health.

So, I guess it is time for me to put on an apron, learn some new "recipes," and experiment with new "foods." Some will not be very appetizing, some will be good, and eventually some will be fantastic. . . .

.... and once in a while I'm sure we'll order pizza. After all, change is a process.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Be Careful with Glue

it's sticky.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Death- my thoughts

Last night we had a family lesson on Death.

We shared our beliefs with our children. We believe we were spirits before birth, children of a Heavenly Father. Then our spirits came to Earth and entered our bodies, like a hand slipping into a glove. The hand is what lets the glove move around. Even though you can't see the hand, it is in the glove. When the hand leaves the glove, it can't move around anymore. The hand is still okay, even without the glove.

We do believe in an afterlife, no reincarnation, so we had to explain how we then put the glove away cause we are done with it. We do believe in resurrection, that we will live again someday.

Last month my sister gave birth to a little girl, Stori. As I am sure you can guess she did not live long. This last week-end Jim's Grandmother passed away. We decided to have the lesson to help the children more clearly understand that these people were not going to "get better." They know I lost a brother before they were born, but still don't have the whole picture clear.

Time means so little for children. My children really only grasp "now," "soon" (meaning in a few minutes,) "later" (meaning today, but not 'soon,') and "a long time." The boys understand "tomorrow" and possibly as far as a few days. Beyond that it is conceptual. They know how to read calendars but it doesn't really mean anything. So telling them that we will see these people again "someday" might be as soon as next week for the girls, and "when we're grown up" for the boys.

For me, it seems I have reached adulthood. Days and weeks are just flying by. Time seems to be moving faster and faster. It seems just a few days ago I was bringing JJ home from the hospital. Now he's 10 and there are 4 children here. Part of me feels like, 'how'd they get here so fast?' Yet I know it will only be a blink and they will be moved out.

Too quickly it is already tomorrow and "later" comes faster. Then 'soon' is 'now' and suddenly.... will be gone.

Best to fill it all up with happy times and good livin'. Making memories and good experiences.