Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Graph Paper Found

Sometimes it is amazing what you can find on the internet.

I needed a piece of graph paper. As fate would have it I already packed two notebooks of it. I didn't want to go buy a whole new pad for one piece. i thought, "Well, they say you can find anything on the net. I wonder if I can find graph paper I could just print off."

Voila! http://www.printfreegraphpaper.com/

I was shocked and so pleased!

Thank you whoever put that one up!

Monday, October 01, 2007

My Husband is an Alien

After my shower this morning I opened the drawer to retrieve some clothes only to discover a beautiful romantic card. Proof once again that inter-planetary communications are going well. He is an alien. After all, the girlfriends I know assure me regular Earth guys don't do that.

My husband is different. He's an alien. At first I thought he was a regular Earth guy. After all, he looked like one, he seemed to talk like one, but he never acted the way I expected him too. John Gray says all men are from Mars. I am not sure if my husband is from there, but he certainly doesn't seem to be from here.

Though he won't actually admit it, there were subtle clues. The first was that he never acted the way he SHOULD act. For instance, when you leave a person in charge of a baby over meal time it would seem any rational mature person would realize if said child is crying there is a strong likelihood they are hungry. Also, if the adult left to care for said child LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE with the child it would seem they should know what constitutes an age appropriate choice for food items. Peanut butter and jelly ok for the 2 year old, not the 6 month old who still drinks from a bottle. A good hint is if I left them sitting on the counter! Yet, coming home I found a crying hungry baby and a fully occupied husband on the computer. Hmm...this just doesn't seem normal. If the baby stinks, does it not seem logical to remove whatever the offending contaminate is?

Maybe I was doing something wrong as a wife. Okay, here's a new plan. Thoughtful time consuming dinner, make-up, hair, candles, an "attention grabbing" outfit. He's comes in the door. "Oh wow, Hon. Thanks. I'm starved. Man you would not believe the day I had at work. Blah blah blah. Traffic. Blah Blah Blah."

About 15 minutes later, for the first time I think, "Maybe he doesn't know what is going on." Out loud I say, "Uh, Dear. When you walk in the house and there are candles and I look like this, I probably don't want to hear about your day. I'd really rather discuss the possibilities of the evening. you've seemed out of sorts so i thought we could use a break."

He looks up and seems genuinely surprised, as if seeing me for the first time! "Wow. You look great." Looking around he notices the candles. "Oh. Uh."

It is obvious he was unaware. This gives me cause to think. It would seem anyone born on this planet would have been exposed to the idea of a romantic candle light dinner thousands of times. Therefore, it would be reasonable to assume they would know how to react. Hmmm . . . interesting.

Well, if he is from another planet then perhaps it would best if I start off assuming he is totally unaware of how a human husband is expected to act. I know he loves me so maybe he just needs to know what his role is. I decide on an experiment. I'll start with a couple situations and tell him exactly what I want from him, not in a condescending 'how can you know know way,' but in a more 'since this is new to you I'll pretend you know and I am just reminding you as an equal.'

I would like him to get my door on a date. Old fashion, maybe, but I like it. We start off assuming he doesn't know. After all maybe doors on his planet slide open like on Star Trek, or maybe they don't even have doors! I have to be careful how I say it. He's trying to blend in and doesn't want anyone to know he's not from here. (I deduced that because, after all, he would have told me.)

"Love, when we go out it makes me feel so special when you get my door. Does it help if I lock the door as I get out or do you will you take care of that?"

Now I have told him what I would like to happen, turned the responsibility over to him and opened an opportunity for him to tell me how to behave to get what I want. He will probably looked mildly surprised, or he may not. In this case he simply stated that if I just sit still in the car to remind him he would be thrilled to get my door for me.

Sometimes it is simply asking for a small exact action. "dear, it would really help me out if you could just make sure all your socks made it in the hamper. That would really make me happy." Then I make it a point to notice when he does it and thank him for it.

More to come later.