Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Choosing To Be Happy

Today is an experiment that is going quite well so far. You see I have gotten myself into a very learning financial situation and although I am ready to finish this lesson, it seems to keep going. This has led to a rather challanging emotional state, especially considering my history. This morning I woke up a total bear- low energy and grumpy! I lumbered through getting the boys out the door this morning. Then, at some point I decided to put in some music.

I felt a little better. I started cleaning off the entertainment center. Running across a cd I had not seen in months I put it in and listened to "Defying Gravity.". . three times. It just made feel better, as did recalling times with the friend who first reccommended it. Then I found a really old tape of The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I Love that song. It makes me involuntarily unreasonably happy. It has a very strong very happy memory associated with it. I was smiling and dancig with my daughter. We had a great time.

When it stopped it wasn't long before I felt myself geting grumpy. It was as if a heavy cloud rolled back in front of the sun bringing darkness. Immediately I wanted to just veg. out again. It felt as if the will to care was just shut off, like a light switch turned off. Instead I began this experiment. I am consciously choosing to keep playing things that make me happy. Everytime it stops the clouds roll in, so I will myself to put in something else that I know cheers me up.

Bill Cosby - the Noah bit
Dan Seals - Bop
Monkees - Daydream Believer
Ryan Shupe - Dream Big

Right now I have in a mixed tape a dear friend made me when I was high school! I actually don't remember listening to it much then, but I recall the friendship and it warms my mind and heart.

I watched an episode of Stargate recently (typical low energy justification, "it was on,") in which Dr. Daniel Jackson is given the task of trying to convince an elightened child to allow them to use a device to exract information from the child's mind. You see, the child hold knowledge that could help them but the child has learned to block it all because it is wrapped up with memories of exteme evil. His teacher taught him, and he in turn ends up teaching Daniel, that the only way to win against such evil it to not give it battle in the first place.

I use to fight my depression. Today I choose to not give it battle.

I invite you to try this experiment for yourself. Everyone gets angry, depressed or just plain stressed at sometime. Find some music that makes you feel good, happy, and play it next time those feelings come up for you.

2 Comments:

Blogger Marcos said...

Choice is one of the strongest abilities and yet most oft overlooked that we have. By opening ourselves up to more choices, we find avenues to make our lives easier and we also find opportunities to grow and stretch.

I posted this in my journal recently, and it goes along with your post as well:

It's so tempting
to look at your present life situation, at who you're with, to where you work, to what you have and have not, and think to yourself, “This was obviously meant to be, I’m here for a reason." And to a degree, you'd be right. But you are where you are because of the thoughts you used to (and may still) think, and so you are where you are, to learn that this is how life works – NOT because it was meant to be.

Don't give away your power to vague or mysterious logic. Tomorrow is a blank slate in terms of people, work,and play, though because it, too, will be of your making, you will again have that sense that it was meant to be, no matter who or what you've drawn into your life.

Nothing is meant to be, except for your freedom to choose and your power to create.

Choose big and be happy.

Thu Mar 22, 01:07:00 PM MDT  
Blogger Marcos said...

Didn't write that, btw. Forgot to include that in the orignal post.

Thu Mar 22, 01:09:00 PM MDT  

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