Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Blogging is Like Sex

11.At first, you're just blogging once every week or two, but it's not long before you're doing it a couple of times a day.

10.A lot of kids fool around with blogs in high school but the serious blogging doesn't start until college.

9.People really only have one good entry at a time, but will often fake multiple entries because they think it makes their readers happy.

8.It hurts when you've blogged and the next day your readers pretend like it never happened.

7.You know better than to blog when you're drunk, but it's just more fun, even if you do it with topics you wouldn't have touched when you were sober.

6.The day after you've blogged drunk, you've got a lot of explaining to do to your regular readers.

5.Men blog like they've got an audience, but women like to keep it intimate.

4.You have to vary your technique once in a while, otherwise your readers will loose interest and you'll drift apart.

3.When you first start to blog, you don't ever have any long term readers but all you can ever think about is blogging. After a while, you do find some regular readers, but then blogging becomes a chore and you start to feel guilty if it's been a while.

2.Most people blog at night, in the privacy of their own homes, but there's always some jackass strutting around bragging that he prefers to blog in the office at lunch or at the local park.

1.Everyone knows that if he ever did in fact blog in his office or in the park, he was alone and just blogging into his palm.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Spirit of Christmas

I love this time of year. Always have. Today I discovered why I love it so much. Around Christmas people spontaneously open their hearts more. They don't need a book, a seminar or a camp. They simply choose to open up and live more from their heart for a season.

An energy of connectedness begins to form going from one person to the next. You smile at the person stuck in line with you, "Slow there? Here too." Someone offers to hold the door for you. Casual conversations strike up just about anywhere between complete strangers. People are looking to give, to show love and appreciation. Each person is striving to be a little bit nicer to everyone around them. People let their guard down a little bit more. They show a little more of their true nature and in doing so reveal more of their own beauty.

Yes, it is a beautiful time of year, but not because of the decorations. It is because of the people.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Spiritual Breakthroughs In a Haircut

Jim and I read Tolly Burkan book Extreme Spirituality: Radical Approaches To Awakening. It is an amazing book. Each chapter is about a different breakthrough process and what it can help you learn. Most of the breakthroughs need to be preformed with someone trained to assist and facilatate the process. One chapter is on shaving your head as a way of accepting change. After discussing it in great length, Jim and I decided to go for it. We each set our intentions. Mine was to accept change, even if it is dramatic or uncomfortable. The second part of my intention was to continue releasing judgement of others by allowing others to judge me.

This is Jim and I previously:

Jim is now bald. I cut my hair "super short," one inch to be exact. Jim helped me. We took it off in chunks. I wish now I would have taken pictures throughout the process. It was hard, but exciting at the same time. It didn't really turn gut wrenching until I got the clippers and ran the first line across the top of my head. Jim was facing me and tears swelled up in his eyes. That's when it hurt, seeing his reaction. Once we finished using the clippers on my head and I looked in the mirror.....I realized for the first time an unexpected result. I felt totally stripped of any feminine energy I had before. Suddenly I did not recognize myself. It hurt. Fortunately Jim was very loving and I got through it that night. The next day I traveled across the country to Florida to be with some amazing people at The Elite Trainer's Bootcamp- aka Camp of Miracles. By the end of the am more in touch with feeling like a woman than ever before. I am not so concerned with what others think of me and actually feel more beautiful than I did before. :)

As far as my intentions, I have definately gotten to accept change more. I feel so open to whatever life may bring my way right now. As for judgements, when I started paying more attention I found most people didn't even care. Those who were passing judgement, it didn't bother me. It really is all about them. I know this because their feelings change based on the story they are making up as to why my hair might be so short: gay, cancer, supporting someone, cult member, etc. The truth is 'why' doesn't change that my hair is just shorter and that does not change who I am inside!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Gift of Life

Friday, November 17th one of my very dear friends celebrates his life. This entry and my actions are my gift to him.

On September 11, 2001 the world watched in horror as 3000 were killed in terrorist attacks on American soil. Now we commemorate their deaths in moments of silence, statues and plaques. It was a tragedy and deserves to be remembered, but what if I told you over 40,000 people died last year without any plaque at all?

Every year more than 42,000 Americans are killed in car crashes. Thousands are teens.

"In the last 100 years, more Americans have died in car crashes than in all the wars the United States has ever fought."

"Fortunately, the fatality rate (measured by deaths per 100 million miles driven) has dropped by 50 percent since 1980, thanks to increased seatbelt use and improvements in automotive safety technology."

How sad is that? We have dropped 50% and we still exceed 40,000?!?! It is estimated between a quarter and a third of these fatalities are caused by "driver distraction." The majority of the balance involves alcohol.

I don't drink so let's look at what I do contribute. I speed on occasion, eat once in awhile and talk on the cell phone fairly frequently. So, between 10,500-12,5000 people die each year because of drivers like me. That is up to 4 times the amount killed by terrorists. My "being busy" is more deadly than their suicide mission.

My original gift was, for at least Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I will refrain from speeding, eating or phone calls while I am driving. After doing all the research I am considering making it a life long dedication. I challange all those who read this to consider how much is one life worth. What if it is your own you save? Join me for a safer week-end. Let's celebrate life!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Heart Open

I wrote the following after returning home from The Elite Trainers Bootcamp Nov. 14:

So many lessons from this last week. Commitment, in the moment, no secrets, connection, love, service, open to the whole world, forgivness, faith in myself...

Overwhelmed and full barely begin to describe it. I could not articulate what was coursing through me. I told my business partner I was "blissed out." Never before has so much energy ben inside me. Colors appeared more vivid for weeks. Even now I feel after effects. There is a desire inside me to love and trust all being everywhere. So much of it sounds hokey or trivialized being put into words.

Have you ever seen a sunset so beautiful you knew of no color like it? Have you ever witnessed a feat of nature so spectacular it literally left you speechless? Have you felt so grateful to someone you wished they could just know and feel directly into your heart?

If you add all of that together and turn up the volume it is much of how I was feeling at the time.

Usually coming home from an event you know you have changed in subtle ways but you readjust quickly back into "real life." That sense of being "normal" has not yet returned. It won't either, because I am no longer normal. What a blessing that is. :)

I invite all who read this to join me in opening your heart a little wider. I discovered how the Grinch's heart could grow so much. UNlike a traditional room which fills to capacity, the more people you let inside, the more your heart simply expands to make room. It grows.