Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Memories of My Grandparents - Part 2

I have 2 memories of my paternal grandparents from my adult life I cherish. The first happened in my grandmother's kitchen. I had been married only 4 months and had just had a very early term miscarriage. As I was working over the sink my Grandma came up beside me. She busied herself in something next to me. She began to speak, quietly so it was jus between us. It was the first time I could recall being addressed as an equal. She told me how she understood my pain. Husbands were nice, but they could never really know. It was obvious she had a long buried hurt. I did not know my grandmother had ever lost a child. She spoke a few more brief words then walked away when someone else came in the kitchen.

To this day I do not recall her words. In their place I remember the feeling. It was as if I was acknowledged as an adult and welcomed into some secret sisterhood all at once. I saw my grandmother not as an old lady, but as a woman. For a few moments she was a young wife suffering a loss, a close friend offering comfort, and the voice of wisdom. It was a beautiful fleeting connection.

My second memory was a few years later on a visit to their house. Grandpa was sitting in his favorite chair talking about the good old days. Suddenly he asked if I would like to see a picture of the most beautiful woman. He pulled out his wallet and took out an old black and white photo. "See. Isn't that the most beautiful thing you ever did see?" It was my grandmother when she was younger, maybe 30 tops.

Grandma came in from the kitchen. "Would you stop showing off that old thing?"

"Well, why shouldn't I show it off? You're beautiful." Then he made some comment, (to this day I wish I could remember exactly what he said,) to the effect of calling her 'his girl.'

"Don't you be too sure about that," she replied.

He feigned suprise. "What you got someone else courting you on the side? Is it that one guy from church?"

I was giggling as she responded in absolute seriousness,"Maybe I do." She put her chin in the air and turned towards he kitchen.

"Well then. I suppose I'll just have to try a little harder to keep you then," he responded as he winked at me.

It was so beautiful to watch those two flirting together so playfully. They seemed so young and full of life in that moment. I decided right then and there that is what I wanted for my relationship, to always have that flirty attraction energy. Not every second, but always there, ready to be called forward at anytime. Love does not grow old, thus it can keep us young if we let it.


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