Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Societies Negative Beliefs about Nurturing

Our society programs us NOT to nurture others and not to be nurtured. Women are told, "Don't mother him or you'll lose him." If a man acts like he wants some tenderness, he's being a "Momma's Boy." Women are labeled "Daddy's Little Girl." These labels imply weakness, inadequacy and are aimed at belittling self-worth. Asking for nurturing becomes equated with being "not enough."

Our western society builds up and praises independence. The problem is we have come to mistake the meaning of true independence. Instead of realizing it means the freedom to make choices for ourselves we believe it means we have to be able to do everything for and by ourselves. Anything less is considered undesirable. Therefore asking for help from another person is "bad."

Growth comes when we realize we are all connected. By nurturing others, we are nurturing a part of ourselves. Would you judge or condemn someone for putting lotion on their hands? They are simply caring for a part of their being. Likewise, do we look down on someone when they are rubbing their feet or eating their lunch? No. They are simply tending to a need. Why then is it such a stigma to tend to our emotional needs?

Nurturing should be as natural as breathing. In and out. We accept. We give. Maybe more like eating, very helpful for living, but not everyone has them same requirements. Likewise, the cleaner your body and the higher your consciousness the less you need to take in. (I'll look for a better analogy.) For now, just take comfort in receiving and giving nurturing freely.


Blogger LemmingLord said...

Compassion is understanding when someone is hurt or troubled and being a friend to that person.

Another virtue is humility, an understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses, knowing when to offer help and when to ask for it.

I suspect that western culture has become well versed in the concept of compassion, but not in humility; a discrepency that creates much frustration as we have those who need help who do not know how to ask for it and those who wish to help, who do not know how to offer it.

Sat Aug 12, 07:00:00 AM MDT  

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