Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Why Good Guys Loose Girls to the Bad Boys

I think I finally caught a glimpse of part of a grand puzzle. As I sat chatting with a friend something came out in such a way I had never consciously voiced before. We were discussing why it is that it seems the best girls gravitate towards the "bad boys."

This just came out. "Every girl I have always known wanted nothing but a nice guy. Unfortunatly they all think every guy only wants one thing...maybe that is why girls gravitate towards bad boys, at least their intentions are obvious and you don't have to worry about getting all tangled up and in love just to find out in your most vunerable moment that "he" is really just a creep who was hussling you all along just to try and get you in the sack."

Deep down every girl wants the knight in shining armour who will make her feel like a princess. Why do you think romances are such hits? Why do girls sigh and rating shoot up when the nice guy finally gets the girl and they kiss for the first time?

We are simply trained to believe nice guys are so rare they are impossible to find, like finding a 5 carat diamond just lying on the ground waiting for you to pick it up. It just doesn't happen. And if you do find one, he's taken. Thus the only alternative is to believe all available guys are jerks. If you are going to be with a creep, why not one where at least you know where you stand and you can endulge the fantasy your love can change him rather than one that you have to wonder about his agenda?

The cure currently eludes me, but this much strikes me as very accurate.


Anonymous Marcos said...

You know, one of the biggest problems with people in relationships is that they really don't always know what they want. People refuse to take the time to sit down and really think about what their expectations should be. And when you don't do that, you can't really know what does and doesn't meet with your approval until you're put in the situation and decide (very often too late) that you really didn't want that. But chances are, if you had taken time to think about it ahead of time, you'd know that already.

Learning to figure out what you want and what the expectations should be is something so few people do and something so many people would benefit from. Once you set those guidelines, it is no longer a matter of good or bad as it is does or does not meet expectation.

Then the next challenge is holding out for your expectations. People get lonely and it can get tempting to settle for second or even third best. But inevitably, doing so will not be as fulfilling.

Holding out for the best match to the expectations is always best. And it becomes a much better challenge when you do find that person and you know that the time you invest is worthwhile time.

And all the other guys in the meantime? You don't feel bad about it. You can't. You know that if they don't meet the mark, you wouldn't be happy anyways. And its a great comfort to be able to know that deep inside.

Wed Nov 23, 12:27:00 AM MST  

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