Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Mr. Wonderful

It's been a while since I gushed about how wonderful my Honey is. He posted about an IQ test that supposedly proves men are smarter than women. (As if!) Then it points out that women could accomplish more than men with comprable IQs. Jim's opinion was that if women were accomplishing more, then they really were the smarter ones. It really is easy to love a guy who supports you as a women so much. He actully encourages me to grow and find interests. He rocks.

In another post he shared a quote about how when you pick a flower you move the farthest star. Just another way my girls get to prove they control the Universe. Well, at least their Daddy's Universe. :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Mental Cleanse Follow-Up

Last month I told you Jim and I are doing a Mental Cleanse. It's almost over. If I were grading us I would probably give us a B- to a C for our participation. It blows my mind it's been almost a whole month already. I guess it must be helping cause I feel pretty good. In fact, yesterday was the first day in a very long time I felt fully awake and present. For me the combination of Wizard camp, quitting my meds, and doing a mental cleanse has been exactly what I needed.

In a way it's sad. I don't remember any of my middle two childrens' infancy. I see pictures and I know they are mine, but I don't really remember it. I don't remember weddings, birthdays, or other events I attended. Pictures are my only link. Sometimes they will trigger a vague memory. The good news is that now I am here for all the new things going on. I'll be able to enjoy their childhoods. *sigh* Happiness is being present.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Technical Difficulties

ARG! So I am trying to be nice and help my husband book his trip. After over an hour we settled on a package on hotwire.com. I have it all down to the "confirma nd we will charge your card" button. Then I open another window to price the difference if we drop the car and use the shuttle. Then decide it would be better to have the car anyway so just close that window and hit the confirm button in the first window.

Well, apparently the computer is so smart it took the default stuff in the second window and confirmed it in the first window. ARG! Totally WRONG! so, then I have to call Customer Service and ask to have my NON_REFUNDABLE trip refunded. Needless to say my frustration level was EXTREMELY high. So, I'm chatting on-line with a dear friend of mine filling him in whilst I go through the menus to get put on hold and he respondes with the following:

(17:41:02) Anthony: "Welcome to voice prompt and queue hell, we know you have important things to do, so we're going to let you rot on hold for 60 minutes before we even consider your call. You will then be greeted by a representative who knows even less about what they're doing than you do and will get irritated if you tell them so. Your call IS important to us, please stay on the line for the next available argumentative specialist. Oh, don't forget to try and stay awake during our cheezy soothing music."

Exactly what I needed. I busted up laughing. Totally relieved my tension. Thank you so much, Anthony. The young lady actually turned out to be very helpful and understanding. She was able get everything worked out so I got the itenaray I origanally wanted without making me feel like a total moron. Thank you to her as well.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Like Riding a Bike?

Well, today I did something I have not done in YEARS! I contacted someone about a job. I have not actually applied for a job in....9 or 10 years. I haven't worked in a job for over 5 years. My kids have been my very full-time job! (Read ALL time)

The craziest part is I"m not doing it for the money! In fact, I'll be lucky to make enough to cover child care. Plus, it's mandatory travel so I'll be away from my kids up to one full week a month. Why then, you may be asking, would I do this? There is literally only position I would consider taking and this is it: core staff with Peak Potentials.

Volunteering at camp was absolutely amazing. Watching people change their lives for the better right before your eyes. There is nothing to even compare it to. It is a gift to assist in this work. I truely believe this company is affecting a positive change on the planet. My children are strong. They know Mommy loves them. They are surrounded by people who will love and support them. All will be well. If it is meant to be, it will be.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

His Holiness the Dali Lama

His Holiness the Dali Lama is going to be in Sun Valley Idaho on Sept.11 to give an address. Only 10,000 tickets were given out. My husband and I are going. We have invited a few very close friends to go with us. I am excited and humbled. What an honor.

Thank you.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

*Snuggle snuggle snuggle*

Apparently there is a new trend starting on the adult social scene, Snuggle Parties. A group of adults get together for about 4 hours and basically snuggle. There may be movies, games, or just small talk. Rules are put in place at the beginning of the evening so everyone knows where the boundaries lie to keep it from turning sexual. It's just a way to get some reassuring friendly physical affections without traditional "games" and worries attatched. Hugs, backrubs, and leaning against each other, all without the undertones.

This idea was introduced to me while I was on my last trip. I came home and shared it with my Honey. Now we are thinking of hosting one next spring. We have become aquainted with a very special breed of people through our personal developement courses. They are truely the cream of the crop. Personally, I think it will be a lot of fun.

Yeah for SNUGGLING!!

Big Trouble

Is there anything more adorable than a little girl with deep brown eyes, curls cascading around her head, looking up into your eyes saying, "I'm sorry."

The only thing even close is the same girl giggling, showing off her dimples, saying "please."

This child is so going to own a pony.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Poison Free

Hey there! Yeah for me. About 4 weeks ago I decided to buck science and trust my inner wisdom. I quit taking my zoloft (75 mg daily) cold turkey. It was pretty tough the first couple weeks. Now, not only am I feeling better, I can remember things and learn new information for the first time in 4 years! I am so happy! Yeah I get stressed a bit easier, but now I am aware enough that I can notice, breath deeply and let it go. Learning new coping techniques has given me the skills to release the negative and be fully present. As I practice, it gets easier.

Yeah for me!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Adventures in Traveling

So after a week in Canada, I missed my flight to get home. My luggage went in one car and I went in another. We did not arrive at the same time. I discovered, if you miss a flight in Calgary they are just keeping you. The ticket counter closed an hour and a half before my flight and customs closed about 5 minutes after the flight. I guess Canada really does welcome outsiders.

Just as well. It was just the Universe providing me an opportunity to spend more time with a dear friend. It was very enjoyable.

Camp was fantastic. This time I was volunteering insted of attending. I helped 291 people change their lives! That may sound exagerated. It's not. To learn more about the camp visit here. I met the best people! The participants, the volunteers, and the staff. Beautiful people.....