Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Opening My Global Eyes

Tonight I watched part of a PBS special about the explosion of Krakatoa in 1883. It so amazed me I was totally entranced. Something in me "got it." I went out to, where they had great links, to learn more about volcanic forces and the resulting tsunamis. The devistation caused through out history, especially in the last 150 years, is very scary. All of a sudden it felt real to me. I can not even comprehend the beginnings of what has been left behind from December's Tsunamis. You hear the numbers and see the maps, but it didn't mean anything to me until tonight. Something inside hurts for those people. Something warns of more to come in my lifetime. Fear threatens to control me, but I am bigger than fear. These things will happen. I can not change the forces of nature, but I can control my reaction.

I heard a speaker tell of his brother coming home from vacation with his family and then jumping in a plane to fly relief over to those in need. He didn't even have to think about it. He had the resources and there was a need so he went. I do not know if it is meant fo rme to have millions of dollars to give, but I can prepare myself and my children so that we are willing to give whatever we can whenever we can. Actually, my children already display a great desire to do this. Thus, I shall simply choose to support it more from now on.

Again being taught by those I thought were students.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Calgone Ain't Strong Enough

Depression is not fun. Even after all the growth and tools I have gained there are still days that are not so great. Days where you fight to stay awake. Days where you can't think ahead, you just have to think about right now. Today was one of them.

Getting out of bed is a challange. Staying out is a constant struggle. All 4 kids are home. Spring Break. I tell ya' there are days I know Heaven is being extra present in our house. Jonathan opted to play outside for most of the day, Legos most of the rest of the time. TJ watched TV or Jonathan. Mem actually managed to stay out of trouble. She even kept almost all the water in the tub during her bath! Sarah, although never much trouble, was kind enough to take a 4 hour nap today. Evenings are generally my hardest on days like this cause I am spent and the kids don't want to go to bed. Can you believe every one of them went to bed and basically went right to sleep? All by 8:15! Thank you!

I have less challanging days than I use to, but when they come they seem to come in packs. It use to last months, now it's usually just a couple days together. My next goal is a few hours. I am definately part of "Modern America." I don't want to grow through this. I just want to wake up tomorrow and never have to deal with this again. I would have learned everything I needed to learn, gained all the strength this lesson had to offer and had released every negative toxin filled emotion in my body. *sigh* If only it were that simple....

Happy Easter

Chocolate bunnies, easter egg hunts, baskets, toys, dyeing eggs, coloring, games......What a fun Saturday.

Family, church, special videos, and a reminder of Christ's eternal love for each of us. He satisfied the price of Justice on our behalf, then gave us the gift of Hope Everlasting. Death is not the end. We will live again someday...and so will our loved ones.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Indigo Children

A woman I am pleased to call my friend, Carol, was kind enough to tell me about "Indigo Children." This is the belief that many of the children being born today really are different to their very core. They are special, here to usher in a transition for the Earth. Now I know this sounds really new-age and a lot of you are wondering if I'm serious. In fact, I do believe it. I was raised to believe that a great war between good and evil is coming. I am sure you have heard stories of the "apocalypse." Most cultures and religions teach some form of this. As this time approaches there arises a need for the "best and brightest," Warriors of the Light so to speak. Wouldn't it stand to reason that those filling that role would be "different?" Perhaps even from birth?

So, after being lightly introduced to the concept I began searching the internet for more information. I did find one site that had kind of a quiz for identifying Indigos. I can say with great certaintanty that my oldest "fits the bill." They say that diagnosis of ADD/ADHD is growing at an alarming rate. Could be because most of those kids are really Indigos!

Well, in my quest to always improve my parenting, I found a book called "The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children" by Doreen Virtue. Much of the book is directed at helping you understand what is going on inside an Indigo, what drives them. That was helpful, but more immediately helpful was when it got around to talking about diet. I was able to identify some definate things my son was missing by the physical symptoms described. As an example he was lacking essential fatty acids (excessive thirst, frequent urination, dry patches of skin, and miniture whiteheads on arms) so we now start our day with a "smoothie" with flaxseed oil added. Additionally he was missing magnesium and B-6 (hyperactivity) so we follow the smoothie with a children's vitamin (free of dyes, added sugar and artificial flavorings. I was able to find a great help at our only local health food store.) The kids actually love the vitamins and are okay with the smoothies. We have cut WAY back on sugars of any kind, none what so ever after 3:30 pm, dropped fast food and are also cutting back on meat, slowly weaning ourselves back. It does not have to be part of a daily diet.

After the basic eating changes, which came a couple weeks before the smoothies and vitamins, I noticed some improvement in behavior. After only 3 days of smoothies and vitamins I would rate it as significant improvement. He was much calmer today. More polite, no outbursts, and slept longer this morning. I wouldn't say he is a whole different kid yet, but I am really impressed with the change in only 3 days. I would highly recommend to anyone to at least try a good healthful daily vitamin/mineral supplement for your kids. I don't mean those sugared fakey things from the grocery store either. Something their body can actually use. We got Animal Friends, in cherry flavor. How they do that with out additives is beyond me, but they even smell good!

I'll keep you posted on future implimentatioins and our progress.

Game of Chance

Many people today comment how "children today are so much smarter than they use to be." I truely believe that. My oldest son (now 7 yrs) was walking at 9 months old and using sentences at a year. He has always been a very grown up spirit in a small body. He has never understood why there are different rules for him than for the adults. Authority, especially "because I said so," is a waste of energy. If he doesn't understand 'why' he will do whatever he feels like. I have spent a lot of wasted years and energy trying to "make him obey." It is far better to show him his choices, explain the probably outcomes, and then let him decide. It takes a lot more time and quite often he decides to do something that he later regrets. Still, it involves a lot less yelling on my part.

The only exceptions are safety issues, his or others. Usually he will conform simply because he sees it is very urgently important to me. Other times I have to give him a mini-lesson. For instance for a while when he was about 4 he kept taking his seat belt off. It was too constricting. So, following my best friend's example, I hit the brakes hard while driving all of 5-10 mph. It was enough to through him forward in his seat. It took 4 or 5 times before he "got it."

Other times there is no way to give a lesson and he'll do it anyway. He came home one day from a friend's house and told us the older kids (teenagers) were jumping off the swingset onto the trampoline. We talked about how they could get hurt. He was the one telling us how dangerous it was. After talking I was almost sure he was going to go back and give those kids an earful. The next day he came hom missing some skin off his leg and in tears. He was hurt pretty bad, but more so was confused. He had jumped off the swingset onto the tramp. I reminded him we talked about this yesterday. His response was, "But Mom, I didn't get hurt the first time."

I spent a lot of time trying to think of how to help him "get it." Here's what I was inspired to do. Maybe it will help someone else out there too. I got a dice out. I asked him to roll it. Then i asked him if he would get the same number the next time. Then I had him roll it again. We did this several times until he was giggling. Then I asked him if he could roll a six. Well, of course he couldn't do it on purpose, but we agreed there was a chance it might be a six and if we rolled it enough times we would definitely get a six eventually. I told him doing things like jumping off the swingset is like rolling the dice. There is no way to know if you will get hurt the first time, but it if you never roll the dice, you can never get a six. So now when there is something I think he might get hurt at I remind him it's like rolling the dice and he answers, "and if you don't roll you can't get hurt."

Now, just to reassure those of you who think I may be teaching my son not to take risks, he still weighs his options like: what are the odds of it "being a six," how badly might he get hurt, could someone else get hurt, or how much trouble will he be in with Mom, and then decides to go ahead and do it anyway. Often he just figures the payoff is worth the consequence. I'm finally learning to let go and accept I can not/ don't want to physically control him. Thus the best I can do is teach him and let him live with the consequences of his choices in the most loving way I can muster.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Lessons in Shoplifting

My sister called and "encouraged" me to post more. I considered doing a post on all the things my daughter has rubbed in her hair over the past week, but then something much more interesting happened.

Today we went grocery shopping. I usually go in the middle of the nght while the children sleep, but our diaper supply had reached 'critical.' We did a pass through Wal*Mart. Afterwards we went to Albertson's for produce. As I am getting into the van after loading in the groceries TJ (4) informs me his 7 year old brother was kind enough to share Skittles with him.

"Jonathan, where did you get Skittle?" ("Please, God, let them be left over from school.")

*scared look...* "Wal*Mart"

crap. So I did my best to stay calm and enlighten him to the seriousness of his crime. We went home to get his Play Money. Back to Wal*Mart. I told him he had to apologize to the Manager and tell him/her what he had done. I told him the store had the right to call the police but they probably wouldn't because he was so young.

So all 4 kids and I went back in the store, found the Manager and I told her Jonathan had something he wanted to say. He held up the empty package and said he was sorry for stealing it. He also held up a dollar and said, "I hope this is enough." The manager actually looked unsure. The wonderful checker that happen to be standing next to her told Jonathan that it was very brave of him to come back and tell them what he had done and thanked him for his honesty. The manager asked if Mommy had told him what could happen when we take stuff. He said yes and she told him that was good and to make sure he always listned to his Mommy. For some reason I was having a heck of a time staying serious and not smiling. It was all so dog gone cute.

So after he paid for the pilfered candy we headed home again. "I will never do that again!" He was very serious and quiet for a couple of minutes. I swear you could feel the moment the tension left and it was "over."

I have never in my life stolen anything that I can recall. It's just wrong. So I have no idea what he was thinking. All I know is if he had to learn from experience, I am grateful to get the lesson over at 7 with 51 cents worth of candy rather than have him give in to the temptation at 17 with a much higher price tag, one so high money doesn't even compare.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Sign of the Times

Today our new Dish Network arrived. Apparently there is something very tricky about where our house sits or something. It took the poor instal guy literally all day to get it in. That's right folks, from 9:30 am until 5 pm. The equipment went in fairly quickly, just a couple hours. The rest of the time was tuning it in, getting the remotes to work, ect.

So, after JW spending nearly 8 hours solid setting it up we enjoyed about 2 hours of viewing this evening. Then we decided to actually use the recording feature for which we got the system in the first place. Somewhere along the course it was discovered our second remote wasn't working. So, Jim has spent 2.5 hours on the phone with tech support now, and is still going at it. How sad is this? We are getting tech support to watch TV.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Love More

I just finished a wonderful book, Children of the Light. In all honesty I didn't actually fully comprehend everything taught, but it was presented in such a way I was able to grasp at least the fundementals of the message. The basic belief is that we are each a higher being having a physical experience for the learning process. The Earth has both light and dark forces surrounding it. If enough of us just love more eventually we will reach "critical mass" and be able to affect a global rise in consciousness.

It's really far from anything I was raised believing, but frankly, I'll take hope and happiness over being "right."

Friday, March 11, 2005

Indiana Jones

This is Jim, Dawn's husband. My sister gave us the Indiana Jones DVD Box set as a gift! It is a lot of fun. There are four DVD's - the three movies and then a forth DVD has behind the scenes special features. It is really neat to hear about how the movies were made. For instance I knew that they originally were going to use Tom Selleck as Indiana, but I was surprised to find out they were going to use Danny Divito as Sallah, instead of John Rhys-Davies (who was also Gimli the Dwarf in Lord of the Rings). While I like Danny Divito I really think he would have made Sallah into a different character, and I like the character he is now.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Thank You

Although I would love to respond to each comment, most people don't even put a name, let alone an e-mail address, so this is a great big THANK YOU to all my wonderful readers. I really appreciate all your comments and compliments. Thank you so very much.

-Dawn :-)

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Marines and Mommies

A blog I often love to visit,, posted a great comparrison between Mommies and Marines. I have two brothers-in-law that are Marines so I respect the position very much. I have to say though that I think Mommy-hood certainly earns the same respect.

The biggest difference, in my opinion, would be the scars that naturally come with "Mommy boot camp." Stretch marks, c-section scars, not to mention more personal scars, skin blotches, breasts changing shape/size, hair thinning, feet growing, cavities, and countless others. To us Mommies these are our Badges of Honor. Get a room of us together and we are proudly swapping stories.

I think that is why Marines are so notorious for getting tatoos. They were jealous we had one upped them.


This is an informational post. I take the time to write this as a caution to those who are unaware. This is a list of some of the worst things to have to clean up, (from my own experience.)

**The difficulty of cleaning is multiplied by at least a factor of 10 when ground into the carpet.**

Topping the list is: liquid soap
one dozen eggs, raw and shelled of course
squished American Cheese
acrylic paint
any substance that once use to be inside the digestive system
more than 5 puzzles in one pile
cream of wheat
pencil on walls
mac 'n' cheese
permenant marker
dampened powdered formula
baby powder
potting soil

Feel free to add more in the comments. There are tons more, but these have been some of my worst.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Is There Film...Oops!

Today as I sat chatting with my Prince Charming I was blissfully unaware of the trouble brewing in the other room. Like most families we have a "no child" zone in our home, the den. This is the room with all the "grown-up stuff," like Daddy's computer, Mommy's crafts and such. The kids have always styed out, unless they want either me or Daddy when we are in there. Today that really changed.

I was happily typing away in conversation when in walks Emily (2) with Neon Orange acrylic paint smeared all over her face and coating her hair. It was also all over her clothes. She was distraught that the bottle was empty. So was I, but for an entirely different reason. I hauled her to the bathroom, placed in her the tub and then stripped off her clothes. As the water was running it occured to me this would make a really cute scrapbook page. (hee hee.) I ran and got my husband's camera and took 3 of the best framed shots I have ever pulled off. She was cute, orange and modestly framed with those big dark eyes looking so very innocent. It was perfect.

After cleaning her all up I had to call Daddy and share. "Honey, there's film in your camera right?" "I don't know. Gently test and see if it winds freely or has some resistance." DOH!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Sticker Shock

Holy Cow! When scrapbooking first starting becoming popular I got on the bandwagon. Then it was on to stamping. Well, like so many gals I let it fall to the wayside, or in my case the closet. I was left with piles of half-done projects. It had been well over a year since last time I worked on it. Well, Friday night I was invited to go to an in-shop late nighter. It was nice getting going again.

The shock came as I started noticing all the new gizmos and trends out, and the price tags that went with them. $10 to punch paper? Really? Of course, I needed to get more supplies today to work on more pages. My first suprise came when I found out two craft stores in my area were going out of business, one just closed and those left don't carry much in the way of open-stock cardstock. Plus, all the prices went up! $0.59 for one piece paper?! My goodness.

Then I stopped by the supermarket and realized how much milk has gone up in the last 18 months. You know, my Dad once told me when he was a young man he thought if he ever made $50,000 a year he would be a rich man. He raised 5 kids and then took care of his parents after we moved out. We both thought about that for a minute. He then told me now days you have to make at least $50,000 just to get by if you are going to have a family. I'd add you also have to be creative.

Thoughts Like Waves

Thoughts are energies. They travel in waves. Sometimes it seems as if they are crashing down over us, filling us to overflowing. Other times you can feel it lapping at the tip of your brain. You know it's there but you can't quite grasp it all.

For me they seem to wash over me in those "quiet times," like when I'm driving in the car. In fact, most often I think of things I want to record exactly when I can't. By the time I can safely write it down, it's washed away.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Boomerang Bedtime

For any of you who have children you are familar with the new stage our house has entered. Emily (2 yrs.) has discovered she can not only get out of bed, but can open her bedroom door and come out of her room. Bedtime is exciting now.

Take Emily into her room and lay her down. "Good night, Mem." Tuck . Kiss. Walk out, close door. Wait 2 minutes. "Hi Mommy. Hi Daddy." "No, Memmy. Night-night time." Repeat.

We do this for anywhere from 30 minutes to....oh.....last night was 3 hours.

We have discovered one little glimmer of hope in all this. Sarah, the baby. Her crib is in the same room as Emily's bed. We have found that if Sarah is asleep in her crib. Emily's whole attitude changes. "Sh-h-h. Baby ni-ni." She lays down and goes to sleep quietly.

Now, the solution may seem wildly obvious but there is one small hic-up. Sarah is 6 months old so her schedule is different. She likes a nap in the evening, usually just after dinner, for about an hour. Then she's up late, as is her sister. *sigh*

(For you "fixers" in the audiance, I am not looking for solutions. This is just a share to "comiserate.")

I know we aren't alone in this. If you are experiencing it, now you know you aren't alone either. If your days of this are over, good for you. We are all happy for you. Of course, now you get to miss sleep waiting for teenagers to come home. :-)

New Option to Save Lives

The other night we left a candle to burn itself out. As we drifted off to sleep the smoke from the smothering candle set off the alarm. DANG those things are loud! As with most newer houses, all our smoke dectectors are wired together, thus setting them all off. Prince Charming immediatly set about trying to silence the alarm while I rushed to comfort the children before they ran outside. I needn't have worried. They slept through it all! Although it was nice they weren't scared, it certainly scared me! How can they get out safely if they don't even wake up?

Well, my Ever Wonderful Prince has found a great new product. It is a smoke detector that you record a message into. Extensive studies found that children will wake up to a familar voice faster than a loud annoying sound. (I know the alarm can go off for 15 minutes without waking Jim up, but Jonathan saying, "Dad" usually has us both awake.) In a fire time is important. Every second counts. Of course, none of us ever believe a fire will happen to us.

" Fire is the fifth leading unintentional cause of injury and death in the United States . . . it also ranks as the first cause of death for children under the age of 15 at home. "

In 1995, 3,640 people died in reported home fires in the United States--roughly 10 people per day.

The voice smoke detectors are $70 each. Cheap insurance if you ask me.