Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Monday, January 10, 2005

So Happy to See You

Do you know one of the best gifts you can give someone? Be happy to see them. Doesn't it make you feel good when you see someone smile and light up when you walk up? The same is true when you do that for others.

This is probably most important dealing with relationships in our homes. Regularly someone walks in the door only to start the "who had the worst day" game. In our house my husband makes it a point to come find me as soon as he walks in the door. He gives me a hug and a kiss. I make it a point to be happy to see him. Sure, there are problems and stresses from the day I want to discuss with him, but the minute he walks in is NOT the best time to do that. First it is most important he know how thrilled I am just to see him. The other stuff can usually wait until later.

This may sound hokey, but think for a minute. If your spouse had been missing for a time how excited would you be to see them come through that door then? How many times have we heard someone beg for just one more day, one more hour, just one last minute with someone they lost? What if we shared just a peice of that passion with our loved ones on a regular basis instead of waiting for a tragedy?

If you greeted your children with enthusiasm every time they came through the door, would you have to worry where they are? Really, do you get excited to go somewhere you are nagged at, given work without thanks, and critsized? No. You avoid those places! You go somewhere you feel welcome, somewhere you feel comfortable. Now if our homes were that way for everyone who lived there, where would the family want to be? Home! It doesn't take a genius to figure out why there is regularly the one kid's house that everyone wants to hang out. It usually has snacks given out by parents that are interested, but not nosy, in their kids and their friends, supportive not condemming, involved but without being overbearing. The kids feel welcomed and cared for.

Pop quiz: Why is the dog considered "man's best friend?" A dog is always excited to see you! Dogs don't care if you got the raise, if you remembered to stop at the store, if you cleaned your room or even if you have the latest clothes. Give them a little kindness and they will be overjoyed! You visit someone's house and scratch their dog behind the ears. Suddenly the owner tells you, "Oh, you've made a friend for life now." That dog then adores you. He'll be so excited every time he sees you, even if you just stepped out to use the restroom.

Now, what if we treated others in our home this way? What if we were excited to have them come home? What if we greeted friends so warmly they felt our genuine happiness at seeing them? Do you think they might want to see you more often? What if we treated co-workers with even an ounce of this delight? Would people want to help you out more? Does it make more sense that if more people are around you there are more people to share the workload?

After passing around some of this joy it seems only logical that some of it has to come back to you as well. When you are genuinly happy to see others it doesn't take long before they are delighted to see you too. After all, everyone is attractted to positive energy. Everyone likes to feel good.

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