Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Mom's Letter

Well, at least someone is excited to see this blog started. My husband just about popped his buttons off he was so proud. Thanks, Honey.

Today I made a big choice. A choice to step forward with my life and my independence. My mother recently asked me to write her not only one letter of reccommendation, but two; one using my married name and one using my maiden name. Rather unethical if you ask me. Here's the real kicker, it's for a job I don't think she wants or should have.

Earlier today I settled on a compromise. I would write one, and just try not to say anything too flattering. I wrote it up. It didn't feel great, but I got it done.

You may be asking what this has to do with growth. I'll tell you. I am nearly 30 years old. About 3 years ago my husband was kind enough to point out that I would call my mother everytime we got home from a date. I was still "checking in." Although I have fiercely resented it, like so many women I have lived my whole life being controled by my mother. My older sister made a comment a couple weeks ago that cut really deep. She said, "Come on. We all know you need Mom." It cut because I knew exactly how she meant it and it was appalingly TRUE. I was not happy to realize I was still so run by her opinions.

Tonight I decided writting this letter was not right. It was not standing in integrity. So, I have decided not to write the letter. It may sound trivial, but any of you who know you still strive for your parents approval will know it is a major thing.

Now all I have to do is tell my mother.


Blogger Jim McKeeth said...

You go girl!

Tue Nov 16, 11:25:00 PM MST  

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