Mom's Letter
Well, at least someone is excited to see this blog started. My husband just about popped his buttons off he was so proud. Thanks, Honey.
Today I made a big choice. A choice to step forward with my life and my independence. My mother recently asked me to write her not only one letter of reccommendation, but two; one using my married name and one using my maiden name. Rather unethical if you ask me. Here's the real kicker, it's for a job I don't think she wants or should have.
Earlier today I settled on a compromise. I would write one, and just try not to say anything too flattering. I wrote it up. It didn't feel great, but I got it done.
You may be asking what this has to do with growth. I'll tell you. I am nearly 30 years old. About 3 years ago my husband was kind enough to point out that I would call my mother everytime we got home from a date. I was still "checking in." Although I have fiercely resented it, like so many women I have lived my whole life being controled by my mother. My older sister made a comment a couple weeks ago that cut really deep. She said, "Come on. We all know you need Mom." It cut because I knew exactly how she meant it and it was appalingly TRUE. I was not happy to realize I was still so run by her opinions.
Tonight I decided writting this letter was not right. It was not standing in integrity. So, I have decided not to write the letter. It may sound trivial, but any of you who know you still strive for your parents approval will know it is a major thing.
Now all I have to do is tell my mother.
Today I made a big choice. A choice to step forward with my life and my independence. My mother recently asked me to write her not only one letter of reccommendation, but two; one using my married name and one using my maiden name. Rather unethical if you ask me. Here's the real kicker, it's for a job I don't think she wants or should have.
Earlier today I settled on a compromise. I would write one, and just try not to say anything too flattering. I wrote it up. It didn't feel great, but I got it done.
You may be asking what this has to do with growth. I'll tell you. I am nearly 30 years old. About 3 years ago my husband was kind enough to point out that I would call my mother everytime we got home from a date. I was still "checking in." Although I have fiercely resented it, like so many women I have lived my whole life being controled by my mother. My older sister made a comment a couple weeks ago that cut really deep. She said, "Come on. We all know you need Mom." It cut because I knew exactly how she meant it and it was appalingly TRUE. I was not happy to realize I was still so run by her opinions.
Tonight I decided writting this letter was not right. It was not standing in integrity. So, I have decided not to write the letter. It may sound trivial, but any of you who know you still strive for your parents approval will know it is a major thing.
Now all I have to do is tell my mother.
1 Comments:
You go girl!
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