Growing, Not Dying

Welcome to my insights, ponderings, and experiences. Hopefully they will enrich you in some small way, or at least make you laugh.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Ah......Turkey and Shopping

Hello everyone. Here in the USA yesterday was Thanksgiving. This of course is where we remember all those less fortunate than us by stuffing ourselves with enough food to feed a small army then complaining because we have way too much left over food.

This year in our family we spent about 2 weeks talking with the children about what we are thankful for, (or "what makes up happy.") We made a paper tree and decorated it with "thank you" leaves. We came up with more than 50 leaves. We also took a couple cases of veggies over to the local Mission and talked about how not everyone has enough food or a place to live. Our Thanksgiving feast had all the trimmings, but we fixed enough for the meal and maybe a day of leftovers insted of cooking so much it got thrown out in waste. We are changing the holiday a bit in our house.

After the meal the kids got to have extra movie time as a treat while Mommy and Best Friend reviewed all the ads, planning our "morning." (Is 4 am really morning?) We decided on simple items this year, one or two gifts per child and nothing frivolous.

Our first "hit" opened at 5 am. OK. 4 am alarm. In line by 4:30. We were after a couple games, Scene It and Disney Scene It. Well, we found Scene It quickly enough, but the Disney one was somewhere else. Best Friend found it just as Mr. Mean Man took all 10 boxes off the shelf. She asked if she could have just one to which he replied "!" Very rude! We ended up with a different game.

We left there and went on to Staples with a 6 am opening time. We waited outside in the 33 F cold for about 50 minutes. Best Friend's Knight Hubby joined us in line with their Sweet Daughter. Between all of us we were able to snag everything on our lists. It was great. The whole energy charge of the morning began sinking in. It was cool. :) Off to Wal*Mart, where evey door buster was gone. On to King's. 20 minutes out in the cold. Got our Brother Bear toys. Hot Wheels from Walgreens. An emergency stop for potty and caffine. Ok, another emergency stop for Krispy Kremes. After all, they're hot and fresh! On to Target. Sleds, Video Games, a hat and two coin purses later we head over to Cost Plus. "Yeah! Last stop!" Wander and browse. Some candles and two little chocolates later we walk out very content.

"Oh, since we are right here can we stop in Borders for a bit?" Ok. So rummaging through the Bargin books for a while and a gift for little brother later we are really done this time. 45 minutes later we start unloading our treasures. Now all we have to do is all that wrapping.......

and we are truely grateful to have gifts to wrap and loved ones to give them to.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Greater Possibilities

A friend of mine gave me a copy of a wonderful poem. Hopefully it will inspire some of you as well.

Greater Possibilities

written by
Sheila Norman

Expect nothing not earned
hope for the very best
think of and put others first
and God will handle the rest

Take nothing from anyone
give back even more in return
walk the treacherous extra mile
to cross the bridges you've burned

Live that higher level of life
where you were meant to abide
learn and teach forgiveness
and how to swallow one's pride

You are given but one chance
to prove you are a worthwhile soul
make it your highest priority
and reach your eternal goal

"I would rather live in a continuous state of disappointment than to never see life's greater possibilities." -Sheila Norman
If you are interested in reprinting this poem please contact me and I will put you in touch with the author.


Yeah for me!

My husband and I have been tossing around the idea of making a very specialized workbook. We had roughed out some ideas, but hadn't actually written anything.

Yesterday I was kicking around the house thinking about it. It occurred to me I was NOT giving 100% to this project. I had pledged I would help and I was not. SO, I decided it was time to type up at least a rough draft. Well, I typed over 20 pages yesterday! In fact I got so much roughed in I will have a first rough draft done by tomorrow night. I am so excited.

Yeah for me!!

Friday, November 19, 2004

Soul Mates

One of my favorite picture is Soul Mates by Larry Fanning. It depicts two wolves laying together. One wolf has it's head down on it's paws and the other is sitting up. (I will get a link here.)

I have looked at this picture many times. It is very touching to me. Friday night I was looking at it again and for the very first time ever it occurred to me that perhaps the wolf laying down was the female. Up to this point I had always assumed the male was laying down. Yes, this does say a lot about me.

In my marriage I have always been "in charge." It was only a couple months ago I choose to vacate the leadership role. My husband very nobly stepped up to fill the void. Our house has been so much better ever since. However, the shift in my perception of the picture tells me even more.

It never occured to me I believed it was the woman's place to lead. I always thought it was the guy's role, but apparently my "hard wiring" was set to the exact opposite. It was through the help of a great master I was able to make this shift. It has always been my belief that the greatest master's are the one's who help you find truths within yourself. Thank you Harv and Satyen.

If you are interested in learning more, begin your own journey at

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Bomb....and Silence

Well, blogging fans, today I told my mother I would not write her two letters of recommendation as requested, that I did not think she should pursue the career path she is looking at and that she should go back to her husband.

It did not go over at all as I expected. I was all prepared for the whole, "You don't love me. You only want me around when you can use me." and so on and so forth...... Instead it was, "I got the message. I'll talk to you later." *click*

So, Sportsfans, now we wait for the reprocussions.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Mom's Letter

Well, at least someone is excited to see this blog started. My husband just about popped his buttons off he was so proud. Thanks, Honey.

Today I made a big choice. A choice to step forward with my life and my independence. My mother recently asked me to write her not only one letter of reccommendation, but two; one using my married name and one using my maiden name. Rather unethical if you ask me. Here's the real kicker, it's for a job I don't think she wants or should have.

Earlier today I settled on a compromise. I would write one, and just try not to say anything too flattering. I wrote it up. It didn't feel great, but I got it done.

You may be asking what this has to do with growth. I'll tell you. I am nearly 30 years old. About 3 years ago my husband was kind enough to point out that I would call my mother everytime we got home from a date. I was still "checking in." Although I have fiercely resented it, like so many women I have lived my whole life being controled by my mother. My older sister made a comment a couple weeks ago that cut really deep. She said, "Come on. We all know you need Mom." It cut because I knew exactly how she meant it and it was appalingly TRUE. I was not happy to realize I was still so run by her opinions.

Tonight I decided writting this letter was not right. It was not standing in integrity. So, I have decided not to write the letter. It may sound trivial, but any of you who know you still strive for your parents approval will know it is a major thing.

Now all I have to do is tell my mother.

First Post

Hello. This is my first post to this blog. This blog will be used to record my various thoughts, ruminations, and experiences. Some may inspire. Some may teach. Some may make you laugh. Mostly though, it will just be words strung together in meaningless meandering.